Gender Roles: A Round Table Discussion

Out of all the sessions we had, the discussion about gender roles was the topic I'm most interested in. In my every day life, I encounter issues regarding gender and I finally had the chance to speak my mind and share my opinions about this topic. 

Focusing on the relationships of individuals among the society, symbolic interaction is present within the issue of gender roles and stereotyping. To better understand this, a perfect example would be interacting with the members of LGBTQ. As they are able to communicate their emotions through language and symbols, the more that they mold the thinking of the society to accept them. In my perspective, I understood my friends who are members of the LGBTQ as I talk to them about their stand on the issue and know what they feel. My realization finally answered the whys in my head. I can now connect the dots as to why the society is behaving the way they do.

The round table discussion revolved around three questions facilitated by our classmates, Jeuny Custodio and Francesca Bolivar. As we go on every question, my classmates are able to exchange thoughts and acquire new knowledge.

Question #1: How do young children develop an understanding of gender role and stereotypes?

Home has always been the first environment where children learn. Based from experience, I grew up with the idea that females are always supposed to be the one doing the nurturing. From cooking to laundry to cleaning the house and such. All our house helpers before were females because they are the ones who know how to do the chores. And when it comes to fixing the broken furniture and electricity wires, females can't interfere because it's a "man's thing." My parents planted the idea in my head that as a girl, I should wear sparkly dresses, wear headbands and collect barbie dolls. I absorbed that thought in my head to the point that I called my boy playmates "bakla" when they touch my dolls. Every time my cousins and I play "bahay-bahayan," all of us girls would be the one assigned to cooking and our boy cousins would protect us from enemies because we believed that they're stronger and girls can't defend themselves. One time I bought my brother a present for his birthday, it was a blue toy car with purple wheels. As he opened it, my dad questioned me why the wheels were purple because that color is for girls. Starting that scenario, I carried the belief that even colors are assigned to men and women. I even felt uncomfortable when I play with my brother's robots and toy cars because it stuck to me that it's not right. School can also influence the children about gender roles. I've been taught before that engineers are all males since it involves construction and flight attendants are all females. As a child, I assigned careers for men and women in my head and I believed all of those until I was able to think on my own.

Question #2: In your perspective, in what kind of environment to these gender stereotype perpetuate? And how do gender stereotypes affect the children?

If you grew up in a conservative family like me, you'll always be hearing that belonging in the third sex is a sin because God only created a man and woman. Gender stereotype is common in my family and it affected me as child because they fed me with beliefs that made me judgmental to people. I have this girl cousin who's very good in basketball, more than her brothers. My relatives are labeling her as "tomboy" because she acts so boyish. They're even teasing her that instead of having a boyfriend, she'll have a girlfriend one day. From this scenario, two issues can be pointed. First, if you do not act feminine then you'll automatically be concluded to belong on the opposite sex which is male. Second, females are always partnered with males and vice versa. Having an intimate relationship with the same sex would be viewed as something "immoral." Being in a conservative family feels like walking on a tightrope. That if you choose to look on other directions, you'll fall and be in the margins of the society. Until now, my relatives see the third sex as something not normal. I still remember when someone said, "Ay, bakla yung anak ni ***! Bakit naman niya pinabayaan ng ganyan?" as if being gay is a mistake. I personally say that it's not wrong to have faith in the bible. I'm somehow religious too but I believe that the essence of respecting God is respecting people. If you say the you love God but you disrespect the beliefs and choices of other people, then you must re-evaluate your life as a "religious" person.

Question #3: How can parents and communities help reduce the impacts of gender stereotypes on children?

I believe that the parents of the community have already done their part when they were young. Their time is different from ours so that makes their beliefs different from ours too. We all know that they were raised with the influence of religion so most of them are conservative. We can't force a person to just accept a new belief when they grew up from a time when everyone had the same belief as them. The question should be reversed, how can the youth reduce the impacts of gender stereotype on children, parents and the community? It's now our responsibility to influence the society because this is our time where new ideologies have evolved. We have all the means to educate ourselves and share our voice through the use of social media. We must open our minds to the issues of gender stereotypes and have the courage to share our wisdom with other people.